People call me at work “boss”. I call myself “Like a boss”. For whatever damn reason I was able to make myself, even as a Sales Coach/Trainer, be like a boss. I’m just a Level 2 Sr. Specialist at work and yet I was able to develop tons of skills, do things I’m not suppose to do and gain powers I really shouldn’t have. Somehow someway, I was able to create a work ethic like no other. I get to do my job the way I want to do it. I was able to amaze people. I was a valiant warrior. Through thick and thin I was able to survive everything that was thrown at me. I was good at what I do. But just like the old saying goes, everything good must always come to an end.
Looking back two years ago, I wrote in here how I was willing and excited to try the opportunity to get promoted. Reading my post I say that I was just a young man who was just happy to be promoted. Two years after that, and I’m writing here on how it is about to end. Not that I am really sad in leaving, but quite frankly speaking, I’ll be leaving a washed-up warrior. Right now I’m writing this as a man that feels like I didn’t accomplish shit. I don’t want to say bad things about the company I am working it, I am actually appreciative of the growth I was able to get there both personally and professionally. But reality is, the company just left me out for nothing.
I don’t want to make a very long story much more longer than it is, so to cut it short, the account that I am part of is cutting down people. Being that I am a trainer focus on sales, I am an easy dispatch for an account that is moving out of the sales environment. They no longer need my services and that was something I was expecting for a very long time. I just didn’t expect that its actually quite a challenge to actually deal with the idea. Plans were already created to still ensure me a place in the company but those plans were nothing but plans. I was bound to get screwed and boy was it good. There was really no place for me to be a trainer, no position for me to be transferred at all, except for one: they gave me an option to be an agent again. Being a call center agent is a fine and a hard job but I already paid my dues and to have a downgrade is a huge no-no for me. So I did what a man with dignity would do, I finalized my plans of resigning and I’ll be leaving the company I have been with for more than two years. But you might ask, “So how is this a bad thing? How in the hell are you a lost warrior?” Like I said, people call me boss, I know I am like a boss, and for everything I have done for the company, being that warrior that I am, they got nothing good for me.
Reality is, I have nothing yet in terms of new job. I have applied for some positions to some companies but I haven’t heard any reply from them. I keep making plans to apply here and there but I am actually not going anywhere. With the skills I posses, with the things I can do, with the things I am capable of, I should have been offered a new job right now but sadly it’s not the case. I’m just a lost warrior. I know what I can do, but I’m just squandering around. I know that this is just a challenge that I need to go through but a challenge that I think I shouldn’t really have to deal with. It’s hard to think on what job I’ll end up having next, how long until I’ll have it? What does it take for me to go to the next level. I know that I have potential but what more can I do to achieve it? These are questions that are still going through my brain but I believe these are questions I’ll find answers at somewhere down the road.
I am left right now with nothing but myself. But warriors for whatever happens to them, at the end of the day is a warrior. And warriors know how to fight back. I just really need to find my armor and sword and I shall storm again in war with faith that I shall survive this challenge. Whatever happens, fighting for the idea that I shall became a man of greatness is something not by choice, but something I have to do.
It wasn’t a long time ago when I spoke about trying to find a new job. How the current one has been dragging the life out of me. I can’t really emphasize more how taking in 35-40 calls every night can be a hell hole. I was pretty much sure I was ready to leave. It didn’t matter anymore if I won’t earn as much as I’m currently earning. Nursing is my passion and want to fulfill the promise I made before that I will serve God’s people as a nurse. But I guess God has a different plan for me. Just when I was a mere three weeks away from my effective resignation date, a blessing in disguise or maybe a kind mishap suddenly occurred. I was considered for a job promotion as a Sales Coach. In fairness, I gave my very best as a call center agent. I went to work all the time, I had a very professional relationship with my workmates and bosses and I made sure that I put up good stats across the board. I made sure that I still represent the embodiment of a nurse even if I am in a different environment. Like I said in the past, I wanted to give this industry a chance if it gave me the chance as well. I was patient, but the time I have placed was almost at its limit. I deserved a promotion but my time was simply done, it was over. I’m thankful for everything I have achieved and accomplished in the call center industry but I have overstayed my welcome. It was time to get dirty, be the nurse that I’ve always wanted to be. But the opportunity that I’ve been waiting for came to the most inconvenient time.
I received an e-mail from HR asking for my resume. I didn’t really know what to do. I was pretty much ready to leave and God knows I wanted to already, but the chance was there. All I had to do was send a resume. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting for the Sales Coach position. December of last year I spoke with my supervisor informing him that HR was looking for one Sales Coach. At that time, I kept on applying to every available job promotion. Sales Coach seemed something I can do and I had the requirements that it required. But the Sales Coach position wasn’t a great choice as per my supervisor since in truth HR yet wasn’t sure if they really needed a Sales Coach. So I applied instead as a Senior Consultant for another account. After a few weeks, they started the interview for the Senior Consultant post, I didn’t get an e-mail. That was practically a notion for me that I wasn’t going anywhere in the call center industry. I filed for resignation and had to render 30 days before I am cleared to be released. So when the e-mail about the Sales Coach position came, I was just simply baffled. I didn’t pursue this position anymore but there it was. When I asked my supervisor about this, he actually placed my name to all suitable job promotion for me. I thanked him for that of course for what he did but deep inside I was disappointed because I just got a reason to stay. I wanted to leave but it’ll be stupid for me to pass over an opportunity of career growth. So I sent my resume, not really hoping it will go well but in a sense, I was hopeful something will happen somehow.
After a day or two I got a reply saying I was up for an interview. I wasn’t nervous at all but I felt that this was my last chance. My will to resign is already there, I’m leaving for good. But if I had to put up one last fight, this was it. So I was prepped up, conveying myself to finally take this one up and been listening to Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’ as a motivating factor. I did well in my interview and they asked me for a demo. The demo went well and they asked me for a final demo. It happened so fast that and all of a sudden I was informed that I got the job and I only got one last week taking in calls before I start as a Sales Coach. I indeed found a road to a new job, but I didn’t expect it to be this way. I was suppose to be going back to nursing, but this road came. In my last post I asked myself how I’ll find the road to a new job, and now I’m already taking mini steps in it. Its funny to think that I almost left because I felt the call center industry wasn’t giving me a chance but I guess the jokes on me because I’m staying. As much as I’m still staying in the same company, taking a new road is still going to be a challenge for me. But I guess challenges are something I can handle. What I’m actually wondering about right now is the road that I have left untouched. I’m stuck again between passion and opportunity. Its not really easy to just go back to nursing. Its a gamble I you have to take. And I just can’t gamble when something good is happening as of the moment. Its hard to throw away a jackpot when you jut recently won it. But it is what it is. Today I start at my new job. New challenges to conquer. I practically found my way to a road for a new job. Only time will tell if I’ll ever still get to travel to the road I gave four years and earned a license with to walk on.
If you told me on my first day in College of Nursing that my first job would be in a call center, I will probably find you offensive, let alone, maybe I would have done something I wouldn’t be proud of. Five years after, and pretty much my first job indeed is working in a call center, ironically. I’m just a few days away from celebrating my first year as an employee of Sutherland Global Services in Davao. While its a feat not hard to accomplish, still, with the culture of call centers its not something you can just achieve without hard work. If you think a job in which you just basically “talk in English” is easy, well, its a bit far-fetched than what you would expect. In the past I have wrote a lot of insights about working in a call center and pretty much I know there are still more to come, but I would like to say that it won’t be long enough ’till I finally maybe writing my final posts about working in a call center. You see, I’m about to file a resignation to my very first job as a call center agent, and pretty much I am where I was a year ago, looking for a job.
Now don’t get me wrong, pay is not bad on the place I work at. The money I earn can already be used to raise a family, not quite enough but you can pretty much send someone to school and put food on the table three times a day. For a young guy like me, I can almost buy anything, party anywhere and can ask someone out for a dinner or movie. For almost a year I’ve enjoyed the lifestyle of an earning man. The fact alone is enough for me to keep my job. But when you look at the other side of the story, I have every reason to leave. For the past few weeks I have been thinking of leaving the call center industry. Truth be told, despite my nursing background, I want to give this industry a chance, but seems to me its not giving me one. After six months since my day of employment, I’ve probably tried to apply to any available position, but to no avail. There was a time when I was accepted as a Trainer Apprentice, but due to some changes, they couldn’t take me and was back on the depths of taking in calls. I don’t want to take in calls anymore, I have outgrown it. Opportunities are hard to come by in a call center despite their claims that it is a best place for career growth. True, everyone in every level of management started by taking in calls, but there are just a few from hundreds of agents who get to the same position as them.
Looking for a job ain’t easy. I graduated with a BS in Nursing and you can easily say “Go be a nurse then!”, but that is quite hard to do achieve these times especially here in the Philippines. As much as being a nurse is a general career path I can choose on, there is still a lot of jobs a nurse can do. One of those is being a call center agent, which by the way is already consider a nurse’s second career job to go with. But sometimes you would like to get out of that stigma and go and look for something better. Looking for a better job on what you currently have is a tough challenge. You have to consider a lot of things, especially on pay. In my position, I’m kinda lost with what I’m suppose to do. Where I’m suppose to go. I’ve been used to having a job that I don’t know if I could ever live again going back to square one. Its hard to leave the salary I’m currently having. I’m torn between having a very stressful job and a good payday. But at the end of the day, its about doing what’s best for me. Working around supervisors and managers made me dream of becoming a boss on a very young age, but I know I have a lot of dues to pay. Its complicated at the most part. And sadly, you just can’t easily get a boss job. Its something build upon experience. I guess I’m the type of guy that doesn’t want to have a stressful job but still get paid well. Sometimes I think I should just try becoming an actor, entertainer or a rap artist, you don’t get to do that much but you get paid huge.
I know that there are a lot of things that I can do in my life. I trust on my skills but getting the job you want or finding the career you’ll go with for the rest of your life is hard to get. At this point, resigning is the main option, but not the only option. I could opt to say, keep on doing what I’m currently doing, but at the same time, I could just leave it all, including the pay, which makes this all confusing. I know that a job ain’t a job if you ain’t happy anymore, but I’m a young guy who wants to accomplish things in an early stage of my adult life. There are too many pros and cons, reasons and beliefs, that sometimes I would just like to bet 20 pesos, buy a lottery ticket, and get rich ’till the day I die. Would love to get good opportunities but they don’t just come easily. I guess I’m just lost right now, I don’t have the drive to get something. I’m just floating around, lost in the transition for the next chapter in my life. I would like to believe that there is a future ahead of me but I’m currently working on a present I don’t know how to build. I just want to get out, do big things in my life, but I just don’t know how to get there. Which path to go, which direction to take, which job to take next?
21 years. 21 years I’ve done nothing but be the best son, friend, classmate, employee, heck, a lover that I can be. And for those 21 years, while I got my props from time to time, still don’t get the respect I deserve, still don’t get the admiration I deserve, still don’t get the appreciation that I deserve. And while I try not to be a very important person that much, I just want to be known for something, and that is being the best guy around. I’ve always made sure that I can be a guy you can count on, someone you would admire for his feats and efforts that I’ve done. But no. My life was never the sun over the rainbow sort to speak, it has always been a tough life for me. I still get to eat three times a day, get to sleep in a bed, have what you wold call a decent life, but for me, I’ve always had to go through a life taking shit after shit after shit all the time. I know I shouldn’t be complaining, there are more people out there having a worst life than me, but this is my life, I’m selfish in nature, I think I have the worst life in the world.
But I know that I shouldn’t be thinking this way. I know that I must do something about it. For the past months I’ve been thinking of changing my style. Changing the way I live my life. I want to do it in a dramatic manner. And with the new year looming, I thought of repackaging myself for the new year. I rebirth sort to speak. That’s why I vowed that the time 2012 comes, there will be a rebirth. It’s sort of a new year’s resolution, but something I will have to live by for the rest of my life. I’ve always been that quiet, kind guy but in all honesty, guys like that don’t get the respect they deserve. No one gives a crap about them. Come to think of it, people crap on them. Good guys get to be treated like crap, and that’s what I’m trying to change. While I can’t do that much for the people’s perspective over good guys, I’m not going to let myself be treated like crap. It’s time for me to face the light and be a better man.
So I vowed to myself, that I will be what I always wanted myself to be, someone who can adapt to any person, any place or ant situation. I want to be someone that people will just have no force but to admire. I want to be someone that keeps on doing good things in life. I want to be amazing. I want to be great. I want to be that damn good in anything I do and people will be left but to like it. I want to be that guy that is not shy and will interact with anybody, call someone as it fits and be the coolest guy around. I don’t want to elaborate that much but simply put, I want to be a great person. This doesn’t happen overnight, its something that I must work on. It’s another year ahead of me. While 2011 was good at most, I went through a lot of shit and I want to make sure that 2012 will be worth it. I might still have to go through a lot of shit but I want to go through it like a boss. People can claim that 2012 is their year, but I guess no hurt can be done if I claim it to myself as well.
So for this 2012, I’m going to be different. I’m going to be the Noel Yulo that people have never known before. Sure, no one would care, but hey, this is my life, I’ll do what I want to do. No one can dictate me. I want to be better, badder, stronger than ever. For 21 years, I was a good guy, but no one ever appreciated it. So know, now, I’ll be the Noel Yulo that people might hate, but whatever, like I could give a fuck, I’ll be what people didn’t imagine I’ll be. So 2012 marks the beginning, the rebirth of Noel Yulo. I could have been the best son, the best friend, the best classmate, the best employee, the best boyfriend that I could be, but no, I’ll let them taste the best Noel Yulo that they’ll ever set their eyes upon. I’m not going for the worst, but I’m surely going to be the best at what I do, and trust me, I’ll blow heads off when I get the real shit out. REBIRTH. 2012. The new Noel Yulo is coming. And he’s doing it, like a boss!
I’m not a professional writer. I got paid for some of the works I made before but I’ve never made it to the big leagues. Let alone be enough for small time companies. You could say I’ve done freelancing, but its more like of me getting the extra junk from my friends, doing them a favor for taking some off their load. I do blogging most of the time, I have three blog sites. But at the end of the day, I guess I’m already a writer. Writing is something I don’t do as a passion, its more of a hobby for me. If I got nothing else to do, if I’m in the mood, I just go to the internet and I write whatever I want, a “degenerate writer” of sorts according to a head writer of a small SEO company I’ve once applied at. I’ve been writing since I was in high school, although reading my past works makes me want to vomit, at that time I was doing what most people can’t do. I’m not much of a talkative person, I took a course in college that doesn’t really give that much opportunity to say I want to say. That’s why I blog to share the things I want to share. But for every writer in the world, there are times in which they lose the drive to write. Some would lose their passion, some just get tired of writing. Whether you’re trying to write a novel, a song or an article, writers get writer’s block.
Writer’s block is a state in which a writer loses its ability to create new works. They lose the imagination to write about something. Some get writer’s block due to writer’s viewing their work as inferior or unsuitable. Often times, it is caused by physical and emotional problems experienced by the writer. Simply put, a writer loses the ability that defines him, and that is the ability to write. If I take a look back in my life, I guess I’ve experienced writer’s block for a couple of times already. There were times when I just got tired of writing because I got busy in school. But most of the time, I get writer’s block because simply, I don’t feel like anyone is reading my blogs. Ideas are not a problem, I get them most of the time, it’s just that I lack the sense of execution because I don’t think anyone would read them. I still get acknowledgement from some of my friends that I write good, but most of the time I get them because I shove it to their attention, not by them looking forward to read my next work. While getting recognition from friends is nice, you always try to get the attention of people outside your friend zone. You would always want to impress other readers and writers as well. But even though my writing career is still young, I feel that there is no sense anymore to keep on writing.
But deep inside, I’ve always wanted to write. Whether as a career or just a hobby, I want to share ideas. I want express emotions that I don’t usually get to convey. I got so many things in my head that is a shame that I can’t really write them all off. I feel like its time for me to shake off my writer’s block. It was just weeks ago that I started to write again on my other blog. I already made it half through but due to some interruptions and distractions, I didn’t finish it. It’s still in edit mode, and as a writer, I feel embarrassed. That’s why I want to get back on track. Its a bit of a challenge but hey, I’m starting off with this post. I guess acknowledging a problem is a key to getting over it. I got three blogs to fill and despite that I have a busy schedule, its possible. I don’t hope for more readers or get more acknowledgement, I guess I just want to write, share ideas and get better. Getting acknowledgement and readers will just come along. For now, taking off the writer’s block is a priority I need to take in slowly. I still need to motivate myself and get inspiration. At the end of they day, sharing thought and ideas isn’t illegal, it’s fun and best of all, it’s free.
I woke up today with a slight numb in my head. As my mother was shooing me to wake-up, I quickly realize that it must be Sunday already, Easter Sunday to be exact. Today marks the celebration for the resurrection our Lord Jesus Christ. Now, one might ask what difference does this Sunday make from all previous Easter Sundays? Well, none to be exact. To be much more clear and honest, I had better Easter Sundays before and I could already tell despite it was still 3:30AM. And while I find myself taking a very warm shower, I was thinking about how the Holy Week has passed by for me this year. For the first time in my life, I didn’t spend the Holy Week at home. Technically speaking, I still went home. I’m at home during the day, but at night I had to go to work so meaning, I wasn’t really being holy or reflective for this year’s blessed week. It was a bit different but nevertheless, I was still able to keep some old practice from my previous holy weeks, not do any sin. As a person that changes everyday, I’m not much of a sin-doer as I was before, but I admit that I still commit a few. Of course, avoiding sins in the Lenten season is much more of practice at times. Everyone tries to be good for this blessed week, but then when the week is off, everyone seems to be back from their old habits. We can always turn on or turn off are morals as a good or bad person depending on the situation. But when it comes to the point where how we have to live our lives despite whatever might happen, we cling on what we simply call as “faith”.
I have to be honest, my faith in God has decreased for the past few months. Just when you think you have a God that will help you all the time and will just give you out trials to test you, He suddenly rips you down and drops you strong. I do not question God’s existence, but I question God simply to ask him why? Why must I have to go through all of this? Why can’t I not get a break to all of his trials? Have I not proven myself time in time again? If I look at it this way, God wants me to be stronger, he cannot allow to slow my growth and thus I have experienced great trials in the past few months. That being said, my only reason why my faith in God has decreased is due to my human shortcomings. I do feel like God has not blessed me enough to see the light of the day. While I see others live life with no hardship at all, all I live for is hardship and no glory at all. When will it end? I do not know. When will God be pleased? I can’t really tell. But truth be told, my faith in God has greatly been affected. I may have spoken already numerous times how much “God’s will” is nothing more but a simple reply to the “Why?”, but it doesn’t really elaborate the reason. You can come up with so many definitions but it will still all end a confusion on which is which did God based the trials he has set-up for me.
But through it all, I still love God. I still believe in God. The faith may not be strong, but even at times where I seem to forget I have a God, deep inside my heart I know I believe in God and most especially, I trust Papa Jesus. In the midst of the Holy Week, we are reminded that Jesus sacrificed himself for our sins. That his death was an act of saying that we are saved. That I may not live a life of grandeur, I for one know that my soul has been saved by Jesus. And through every bit of hardship that I have, the act of Jesus to save our sins is enough to hold a common ground to keep the faith strong. I may not look up to God for any resolution for all my problems that much anymore, but all I know is, everything will be fine, that Jesus, at the end of the day, will still save me. Maybe a part of me has died due to the unfortunate events that occurred in my life, but if there is one thing that the Holy Week taught me and has always shown me in the past, God gave up his only son for our sins, that Jesus rose from the dead to proclaim that are souls are forever saved. I don’t really need to walk the way of the cross every year to know that fact. Looking at Jesus crucified in a cross is enough to remind me to always keep my faith strong. It doesn’t really symbolize hope, but it symbolizes that God will never forsaken us, and that we are forever blessed, if we keep the faith within us.
As I watched the little kids dressed as angels sang the return of Jesus, I gave a little smile for purposes that I cannot understand. The past few days I have been an ignorant child of God who has long forgotten to pray, or to even talk with Hi,. There are a lot of things to be said about the Roman Catholic’s religion. I will never be able to ponder the entirety of Christianity. But the practices that the Christian people do is outstanding. It shapes us to keep our faith and make it strong. That even through my ups and downs in life, my frustrations and short-comings, I have come to the grips that it doesn’t really matter anymore what I want God to give me. Throughout my life, I’ve always prayed to God for the things that I want, for the life I want to live. All people do. But I guess with my downfall, I am humbled by God. I am humbled to at least say, whatever God has planned for me or whatever I want for God to do doesn’t matter. I just want to keep the faith strong that even to whatever road he wants me to partake, I pray that he will guide me and blessed me always. I sometimes think that I know how God works, but yet, I still have a lot to see for me to fully know everything. ‘Till the day I will see the light of the day, it may not be as strong as it was before, but I will always keep my faith strong so that I’ll be able to see that day come.
Earlier this afternoon, after spending a lot of time surfing the net, I really got bored pretty fast. I decided to hop on my bike and just roam around wherever my wheels take me. I’ve spent three hours already just roaming around when a sudden thought came up to me. It’s been three or four years since I’ve passed by my old elementary school. Seven years since I’ve last been inside there. Since my last route would draw me near the old schoolyard, I decided to pass by there before heading home.
On my way there, I quickly noticed that the old muddy roads were now cemented. There were new houses built around the area. I got so unfamiliar with the place, I didn’t notice that I was already passing by the old school again. Ah, Davao City Integrated Special School. The school where I started. The school where I trained in my earlier days. The place that started to mold some of my talents, skills and personalities. The place that I always thought I will stay until I graduate high school. So many fond memories of that school, both sweet and bitter.
I could still remember when it was still named Davao City Special School. I started there at kindergarten as a small chubby boy then who would cry when my mother would left me inside the classroom. I would eventually learn to be a hyperactive kid, someone who plays a lot but at the same time, excels well in class. As every school year passed and as I grew, that school became a huge part of me. It gave me an identity, as a “Speder”. All through those years I have achieved and experienced so many things. It already came to a point that I just wished to stay there forever. Not thinking of an idea of ever leaving that place.
As I was checking the old school, I notice that there was already a covered court inside. Some high school kids were playing basketball. It made me jealous and wished that it was built when I was still there. It would have been a much more great childhood for me. Nevertheless, the area where the court was built still gave me a lot of childhood memories. It was still a huge grassy area of land back then. Everyone would be running around, playing a lot of games. I could still remember playing “Taga-anay” (Tag), “Tagu-anay” (Hide and Seek), “Labo-labo” (Ball Throwing), the very popular “Tigso” (Base Defense) and so many other traditional games. Despite being fat, I was already athletic then to play all those games. I could probably say I’m a “varsity” at those games. That huge land of area may not have a basketball court, but it still gave me a lot of memories, something no game of basketball could duplicate.
Still strolling along, I came upon a group of students who were laughing out loud. I notice that they had different uniforms, gray strips and not those old red and white strips students wear in my days. As I went along, I saw students hanging out on stores I’ve never seen before. And I quickly remembered my friends and classmates that I had a great time hanging-out with. There were a lot, but a special group will always be a big part of me, and that’s my ACCE (Accelerated) classmates. I spend two years with those guys so it was with them that I truly have ever lasting memories. From always having to learn fast, practicing for school presentations, the time when everyone called me “Danger” because I get high blood a lot, it was those times that really made me appreciate my time there. And seeing those new generation of Speders, it made me proud that I came there.
There were a lot of students passing by, so I had to go slow. I suddenly came face to face with the old gate. Everything flash back to me, my last few days in that school. It was the end of my 2nd year high school. Due to a sudden change, the program was now zero-base. I had a hard time adjusting, since I wasn’t studying well during my high school days there, it caused me to get low grades. My grades were actually going up at first, but when the change happened, I couldn’t overcome it. Let alone, I was being bullied by my own friends. I couldn’t study well, thus, I failed. I was having my clearance signed. I was saying goodbye to everyone. I remembered that I actually had tears when I was slowly walking away from that school. I was just two years away from getting that huge Loyalty Award Medal. I didn’t want to leave, but I had to. I need to. I walked pass by the grassy field one last time. Stare at the classrooms one last time. I went out on the gate, giving the school one last look, not knowing what the future will hold. Seven years after, I was staring at it again.
I’ve been an Atenean for the last six years. It was the one that molded me to who I am today. It was the one that molded the skills I had and made it more great. Ateneo was the bigger part of who I am. Being an Atenean was now my identity. But it sometimes overshadowed the fact that I was once a “Speder”. A student from a small public school. A kid who went through all those great childhood memories. But I knew that being a Speder was now just something part of my past. It was an identity I used to have. I may have been an Atenean for far too long, but I’ll never gorfet where I started. As I gave the school one last look, I kicked the pedal and went along my way. But passing by that school, I will be forever be proud that I have been there, to be a Speder, to be in Davao City Integrated Special School.