It’s a cold Sunday evening here. It’s been cloudy the entire day. But who doesn’t really like this type of weather? It’s cold, comforting, relaxing, makes you want to just stay on your bed. Despite the case, the cold weather can sometimes give you that feeling where you simply just feel down. You feel sad, you think of all those sad memories that you have. For short, as much as a cold weather could make you relax, it could also downright make you feel…well, sad. Earlier this afternoon, there was a power outage for about two hours. I went out to get some cold air, sat on our terrace and I couldn’t help but feel sad, alone and down. And as I watched the rain, I was just in a vegetative state. I just sat on the chair, thinking of how sad my life was, in a cold rainy afternoon….
A Rainy Afternoon
by: Noel Yulo
As I sat on a chair with a cold shiver
The cold air that surrounds me I try to savor
Yet as I hear the sound of dripping rain
I found myself in a very unusual pain
It was a pain that I couldn’t feel emotionally
Just a simple pain of my heart being empty
The dark grey skies were just like my soul
It was just plain gloom, no fight to uphold
A sad face was already in front of my head
It was a sight of a man who can be considered dead
I just couldn’t fight off these sad emotions
Sucking the life and turning me a site of decomposition
And as much as I avoid to be in this state
The happiness that I lost was something I couldn’t recreate
I finally gave myself one last sigh and then stood-up
Shaking up whatever sadness for the moment I got
Some people may find this weather to be relaxing
But the sadness it would give the human soul is never surprising
It just one of those days you cannot help but get swoon
By a sad aura you will get, from a rainy afternoon
Earlier this afternoon, after spending a lot of time surfing the net, I really got bored pretty fast. I decided to hop on my bike and just roam around wherever my wheels take me. I’ve spent three hours already just roaming around when a sudden thought came up to me. It’s been three or four years since I’ve passed by my old elementary school. Seven years since I’ve last been inside there. Since my last route would draw me near the old schoolyard, I decided to pass by there before heading home.
On my way there, I quickly noticed that the old muddy roads were now cemented. There were new houses built around the area. I got so unfamiliar with the place, I didn’t notice that I was already passing by the old school again. Ah, Davao City Integrated Special School. The school where I started. The school where I trained in my earlier days. The place that started to mold some of my talents, skills and personalities. The place that I always thought I will stay until I graduate high school. So many fond memories of that school, both sweet and bitter.
I could still remember when it was still named Davao City Special School. I started there at kindergarten as a small chubby boy then who would cry when my mother would left me inside the classroom. I would eventually learn to be a hyperactive kid, someone who plays a lot but at the same time, excels well in class. As every school year passed and as I grew, that school became a huge part of me. It gave me an identity, as a “Speder”. All through those years I have achieved and experienced so many things. It already came to a point that I just wished to stay there forever. Not thinking of an idea of ever leaving that place.
As I was checking the old school, I notice that there was already a covered court inside. Some high school kids were playing basketball. It made me jealous and wished that it was built when I was still there. It would have been a much more great childhood for me. Nevertheless, the area where the court was built still gave me a lot of childhood memories. It was still a huge grassy area of land back then. Everyone would be running around, playing a lot of games. I could still remember playing “Taga-anay” (Tag), “Tagu-anay” (Hide and Seek), “Labo-labo” (Ball Throwing), the very popular “Tigso” (Base Defense) and so many other traditional games. Despite being fat, I was already athletic then to play all those games. I could probably say I’m a “varsity” at those games. That huge land of area may not have a basketball court, but it still gave me a lot of memories, something no game of basketball could duplicate.
Still strolling along, I came upon a group of students who were laughing out loud. I notice that they had different uniforms, gray strips and not those old red and white strips students wear in my days. As I went along, I saw students hanging out on stores I’ve never seen before. And I quickly remembered my friends and classmates that I had a great time hanging-out with. There were a lot, but a special group will always be a big part of me, and that’s my ACCE (Accelerated) classmates. I spend two years with those guys so it was with them that I truly have ever lasting memories. From always having to learn fast, practicing for school presentations, the time when everyone called me “Danger” because I get high blood a lot, it was those times that really made me appreciate my time there. And seeing those new generation of Speders, it made me proud that I came there.
There were a lot of students passing by, so I had to go slow. I suddenly came face to face with the old gate. Everything flash back to me, my last few days in that school. It was the end of my 2nd year high school. Due to a sudden change, the program was now zero-base. I had a hard time adjusting, since I wasn’t studying well during my high school days there, it caused me to get low grades. My grades were actually going up at first, but when the change happened, I couldn’t overcome it. Let alone, I was being bullied by my own friends. I couldn’t study well, thus, I failed. I was having my clearance signed. I was saying goodbye to everyone. I remembered that I actually had tears when I was slowly walking away from that school. I was just two years away from getting that huge Loyalty Award Medal. I didn’t want to leave, but I had to. I need to. I walked pass by the grassy field one last time. Stare at the classrooms one last time. I went out on the gate, giving the school one last look, not knowing what the future will hold. Seven years after, I was staring at it again.
I’ve been an Atenean for the last six years. It was the one that molded me to who I am today. It was the one that molded the skills I had and made it more great. Ateneo was the bigger part of who I am. Being an Atenean was now my identity. But it sometimes overshadowed the fact that I was once a “Speder”. A student from a small public school. A kid who went through all those great childhood memories. But I knew that being a Speder was now just something part of my past. It was an identity I used to have. I may have been an Atenean for far too long, but I’ll never gorfet where I started. As I gave the school one last look, I kicked the pedal and went along my way. But passing by that school, I will be forever be proud that I have been there, to be a Speder, to be in Davao City Integrated Special School.
I sit here in my desk still trying to cling on to what just happened. The head writer of a company I applied on talk to me and was open about my work for the past three days. See, I applied as a writer in a SEO company. I’ve always seen myself as a writer and I thought that maybe I could handle the job. I was just looking for a part-time job when I found their job ad on the internet. Since they will accept any graduate from any course, I decided to give it a try.
During the interview, I was able to show that I was fully dedicated in getting the job. Although I end up saying I’ll go full time, nevertheless, I still went on since they took me for a five day training. I found out that it wasn’t really a training but a try-out. The head writer wanted to see how I handle different types of task in terms of writing and at the same time see how I write as a writer. I didn’t knew what to expect, but I went through it anyways.
Since first day, I have thought that maybe this isn’t the right job for me. For starters, the first comment I had was that I was a “juvenile writer”. Being a juvenile delinquent was something I understood, but a “juvenile writer”? The head writer told me that I’m not that mature when it comes to writing and I tend to joke around in my articles. But having a mature and professional writing is something that the company is looking for. Anyways, she did told me not to lose hope since it was still my first day.
Second day happened and things still stayed the same. I was still making the “getting there but not quite there yet” articles. I was starting to doubt my abilities as a writer. ..
Am I really a writer?
Am I good in making literary form of writing?
Was everything about me as a writer all a lie?
I already had a hint that she probably won’t recommend me. Worst, I still have three days left. I felt it will be all useless since they won’t hire me anyways. But Day Three was still to come, at least I had to give it a shot.
Number three is such a powerful number that indicates the end. I guess that day three for me here is actually the end. Just like the first two days, the head writer gave me another assignment. She gave me two topics and I had to make two articles for each. It was hard since I had no idea about the topics. But I always get the job done, so I searched about it and started my articles away. It really didn’t took me long to finish the four, but I seem to have notion that my articles were still….getting there.
After sending my last article to the head writer, we had a little chat on my performance for the past three days. She told me that she thought I was able to live up to my words when I said I could be flexible for the job. That despite my nursing background, I could still write the way she expects me to. She told me that they’re looking for true writers that could really write without having to be supervised. She said I had the potential, but I guess I won’t get it in a short span of time.
It was really a no wonder for me when she told me that instead of having a five days trial, she’ll just cut it off to three since its hassle for me to come back next week. But in truth, I guess it was already hassle for her part to deal with a writer than won’t be able to do the job anyways. I am really disappointed at myself and I wonder why I still bothered to write here if I’m not really a “true writer”. I guess it’s the belief that I know I am still a writer. I know that I can write. However, I am no talented writer that could probably write anything, be flexible in any style or topic. I guess I’m the type of person that writes, just for the sake of expressing something. Maybe I’m just an ordinary blogger, a “juvenile writer” you might say.
I’m still here sitting on my desk, waiting for the shift end. But you know, I am still grateful and thankful for my three days experience here. I really learned a lot. In terms of writing, I really gained a lot of insight. And I was able to learn stuff I never thought I’ll ever encounter or learn. Well, I guess being a writer in a SEO Company isn’t really my thing. Copywriter, content writer, I’m not good at those. I guess I’ll just stick to what I do best, writing whatever I want, whatever way I will write it. Off to the next job…
Hello everyone! My name is Noel Christian Yulo. I was born on December 25, 1990 around five in the afternoon. I live here in Davao City, Philippines. I just graduated last March 2010 in Ateneo de Davao University with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. Currently, I’m still waiting for the results of the National Licensure Examination for Nurses that I took last December 2010. I’ve been blogging since I was in high school, but I never really did it on a consistent basis due to plenty of reasons (school, life, no readers). Currently, I have three blogs, which you can freely visit and comment at Blogspot, Tumblr, WordPress.
I decided to make three blogs because I just enjoy blogging in different sites. I believe that blogging sites have different cultures and I want to get different readers from the said sites. This is probably my maximum because I’m not much of an expert blogger, amateur perse, but I can manage.
WordPress really impressed me with it’s easy to use features. I’m looking forward in writing here and I do hope that I could create a lot of write-ups here for people to read. Although I plan to blog here in WordPress with a bit of a serious tone, nevertheless, I will try to make them fun and entertaining to read. To get to know my funny side, you can visit my Blogspot and if you want to know some everyday bits about my life, visit my Tumblr.
Hope to hear from you guys. Tips and comments from the WordPress bloggers are welcome. Take care and God Bless!